Hey BLOG! Here goes my #$(#*&$(#* feelings! :)

If every tear and smile can show how much a person feels, them maybe JUST maybe I can cry a thousand tears to show that Im in pain, I can smile like Im undeniably happy. Honestly, Ive been up since midnight. It's 11:25 am and yet I dont even want to sleep. Maybe because I dont want to wake up and feel lonely. My eyes are swollen, My heart is beating so fast. I cant even smile. Words doesnt want to come out of my mouth. I want to say Im okay, that Im good, Im cool, BUT I am not OKAY! I want to say I am happy, BUT I am not. I want to be selfish BUT thats not like me.

I hate myself for feeling the way I feel right now, I hate myself for being too nice. Why cant I get mad? Am I coward? Am I being to harsh? I want to make myself believe that everything happens for  reason and that God wants me to learn something.

Ive had the best 24 days of my life. Ive felt the best feeling Ive ever had. I dont want this to end, I dont want him out of my life. BUT I dont know what the future holds. I want him to be happy with whatever decision he makes. Be it with me or with someone else. Oh God! I dont even know why Im saying this. every time I say that Im ok, that Im gonna take it easy, Im gonna be okay If he makes his it the other way. BUT I have to make myself ready to face my fears and that is being dumped, rejected and left alone. Srsly, Ive waited  for 4 fucking years to find someone who's worth every tear I cried and worth the wait, and then I met him. Someone, who made me feel special and loved. He made me change my ways. He made me love myself more and If we go separate ways, I'll wait till the day God decides for our fate. Id like to think that We'll be there for each other when that time comes. Id still say YES. Id still welcome him back to my life. And If not, Ill wait for God's chosen one. Kinaya ko ngang maghintay ng apat na taon, siguro naman kakayanin ko pa.  Hindi naman siguro ako mahirap mahalin, hindi naman ako masamang babae, mabuti naman akong tao kaya Im positive pa din na bibigyan ako ni God ng someone na handang manindigan at makipaglaban para sakin.

My Superhero, Lets make the most out of every time God is giving us. Thank You and Im praying for your genuine Happiness. You know me and You know how much I value what we have. :))

HIM.

"In God's time, with God's chosen one"..

Okay. Im a hopeless romantic girl. Im mushy, cheesy. CORNY! Thats who I am and Having HIM in my life now is by far the BEST gift God blessed me with.. <3 I've always prayed for someone who will make me happy and the HE came.  I can say that He was worth the wait. He never fails to put a smile on my face. I want to spend every moment with him. I want to make him smile and make him feel loved. I will and I want to love him the way He's supposed to be loved. I can never tell what the future holds, But right now, at this moment all I want is HIM. :)

Nagsisimula palang kami, and Im hoping and and praying that we can be the best for each other. I love him because He loves me inspite of my faults and imperfections. I love him because he's TRUE and He doesn't lie to me, he actually tells me everything. I love  spending my sleepless nights just talking with him. Siya Yung taong nandyan para sakin, Who would've thought that we'll be this close. Kahit kami, di namin alam paano, Kahit may pagkabalew yon, Kahit lagi nya kong jinojoke time at tuwang tuwa sya sa pag naaasar nako, alam kong Crush nya pa din ako (HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA).. Some may laugh with  the idea, our set-up but then what I feel for him (I hope , I mean I know he feels the same ^__^) is real, short BUT real. Superhero ko yun, ililigtas nya ang kawawang butanding sa Manila Bay! Hutaena! Kapal his fez. Pero kinikilig ako. Charing :) Superhero ko yon kasi, Because of him I learned to get out of my safe side. I learned how to take risk and embrace chances and changes. I owe him a lot. Minsan tinatanong nya ko kung nabobore ba ako sa kanya, Srsly?? Hindi.. Kahit nga hangin nalang naririnig ko pag magkausap kami, balewala. Ang totoo ngaLSS nako sa mga soundtrip nya. Minsan natatakot ako, baka hindi ko magawa yung mga bagay na trip nya. :( Pero kakayanin ko. Package Deal yun eh. Love ko eh.. :)

Priceless!

This is WHY I love BLOGGING! Yung tipong hindi mo akalaing may mga ganito kang posts then a year after nangyari nga! <3 ..

Love moves.

Love moves in mysterious ways. 

It's always so surprising when love appears over the horizon. 

I'll love you for the rest of my days.

*Babe <3*

All I've got.

Im the girl you can hear from miles away, the kind of girl that if your sad her job is to make you happy, the girl who keeps on messing up & always say "SORRY". I trip over, Im such a klutz and I get mad at the simplest things but I am also the girl who holds everything back If You ask me whats wrong, I'll just lie and smile,  saying "OH NOTHING".. The Girl who stays up late because she want's to, the one who shows up early for school/work because she doesnt want to waste any moment of learning. I am a dreamer, a romantic person, sucker for little things. Im a procastinator and a sweetheart. I read, I write But I am still ignorant to a lot of things. The girl who dances around in the dark, thats me. I sing loud, and I sing with confidence (when Im not sure no one can hear me) Im a ditz. A nerd. This is me. It's all I've got.  Look at me, Im 23........

Highschool Friends "Friends for Keeps"

Rhyolite <3

It's complicated.

Alam mo yung may mga bagay kang gustong gawin pero alam mong hindi pwede kasi alam mong magulo. Gusto mong gawing tama pero alam mong mahirap.

Midnight Ramblings.

I want a man who would always hold my hand, kiss me on the forehead and even in my hands <3. I want someone who would sing for me at random moments. Someone who is romantic (Kahit may pagka siraulo sya.) A man who would throw stuffed animals at me when Im acting dumb. Someone who would bet me kisses that he could beat me at all the playstation games and then let me win. A man who would make fun of me just to hear me laugh. He'd play with my hair at all times & surprise me with simple stuffs. Someone who I could share lollipops with & lay on a blanket with to count the stars. <3 We'd take pictures of each other and squirt water guns in each other. :) But mostly Someone who would be my bestfriend & would never break my heart. He would just look at me and then smile.. :)

The People I Love.

Sana.

Sa Tamang Panahon, may isang taong magbibigay ng dahilan kung bakit para sa kanya at hindi ka para sa iba.

Who doesn't want to meet the person who will make them genuinely happy? Who doesn't want to be with the person who makes them feel complete? Who doesn't want to spend their life looking at the stars with the person who makes them feel secure? Who doesn't want to be inlove and be loved by "the one". Honestly, Im not brave enough to take risk and take chances, Im afraid I might get hurt but then again I remember what a friend told me before, "Walang Karapatang magmahal ang taong ayaw masaktan".. Im not rushing things coz  "Everything worth having for is worth waiting for." So I guess I have to patiently wait for that SOMEONE, "In God's time with God's chosen one".. and when I say that, I really mean that, Im not being too cheesy and mushy, I know people think that Im always on the safe side, but what can I do? This is me, This is the way I live my life.