*ehem* You looked into my eyes and whispered that  you wanted to be with me, all my heart wanted to do was say that I wanted to be with you too, but there are too many reasons why our love right now is forbidden, so Babe, we must keep all this hidden.  I wish I could tell you just how much you have touched me.  Just how much you have taught me.  Just how much you've made me happy.  Just how when you hold me, my body tingles.  Just how when you smile at me, it touches my heart in such a way that no one else can ever come close to.  Just how the way you love me makes me want to be a better person.  Just the way with every breath I love you more and more.  Just the way I want nothing more than to be able to hold you everyday of my life, and how that alone would be enough.  But, I can't tell you all these things, the way I truly feel because there aren't enough words in this entire world, that can truly explain just how I love you. 

When Love and Hate collide. <3

 

Ethan Glenn *2nd*

 Kathryn Joyce *4th*

Jobelle *5th*

Kristina *6th*

the Andrada Siblings! <3

They say that times were tough then that money was very tight .. But I remember my childhood, Yes it's true. We dont have plenty of money, but we're happy.. We dont have cars and luxurious items but we dont dwell on that.. Nanay takes care of me and my siblings (Ate Michelle, Kuya Ethan Glenn, Me, Kathryn Joyce, Jobelle and Kristina ) while Tatay works for us.. You dont know how my family fought every struggles we've been through, tears have rolled down our cheeks and dried up BUT We still smile.. So when I talk of family life Or how it used to be.. I only end up with words like "I love my Family and I would do anything for them.. "

Though many had more money, None were as rich as me.. ♥

Meant To Be :)

Meant to be? Nanay at Tatay! :)

Dont get me wrong. I haven't found the one or should I say Im not sure If I already met him (alam ko nakilala ko na eh :p) or I rejected him and maybe he dumped me.. LOL! But When I saw this photo, I got really inspired to write about the couple I love the most.. The two people whom I see HAPPINESS and RESPECT for each other.. First, my parents, married for 25 years I think (HAHA, not sure) and having 6 kids is not a joke. they brought us all with respect to other people and they did and still doing their best to give us everything we need. No hesitations. Though we're not as rich as other people or high ends like those shitty fucking kids who spends their money dealing with their ego's.. Im proud to say that I have my parents. 23 years of existence and having them by my side for that long is such a wonderful experience. Everyday, We struggle. Everyday we face challenges that other people dont know. But then we make our lives miserable. We dont dwell and whine on that because We know that everything happens for a reason and only GOD knows what it is.. For what it's worth, I will embrace each day I live with them. I love them so much!

If ever I get the chance to be with someone who knows me (pro's and con's) I want a relationship that will make me proud. A relationship with No lies and only TRUTHS. I will do anything  just to make it  a worthy one.. If I have to wait for years, I will. 

Everything worth having for is WORTH having for. So Dear God, I lift everything up to you.. Let me be with your chosen one..  When that time comes, I really want to say this to him "Baby, We are meant to be. <3 "

Saranghae..

I was scrolling through my blog and I noticed that lately I've been blogging about how happy with him, and now Im gonna write about about how we loved each other. Some may laugh because we were just starting and then suddenly, we broke up. My family always ask me WHY? I tell them Some things are better left unsaid and they always ask me If  I still love hm, Honestly? YES. and he knows that, he knows me and how I value the people I love. I may sound so cheesy but I love everything about him, ooops not everything pala. I hate it when he teases me (but I love how he loves the way I look when he teases. HAHA C-R-A-Z-Y!) He wasn't bad at all. He was a good man to me and HE IS A GOOD MAN. What you see isn't always what you get (though he thinks the other way around.) What am I supposed to do now? It's easy to say that I should start forgetting about him but how can you forget someone who means a lot to you (kahit pa sandali lang yon.) How am I supposed to forget him when I know for a fact that he was so honest to me about everything he has been through sa buhay niya (almost everything) How am I supposed to be happy when I know that My Superhero is not by my side anymore? who will save me? who will tell me to lovve myself first before other people? who will tease? the one one who will laugh at me when I cry and get angry with his jokes. I will miss the way he tells me that my feet looks ugly yet he still loves me. I will miss the man who kisses my hands everytime I feel bad. The man who always annys me and then surprise me by coming over to my home. The man who other people see as the Baddest Guy ever but the sweetest to me. Srsly speaking, Nangingibabaw pa din lahat ng pinakita nya sakin na maganda. He showed me what reality is. And I will miss him for that. Yet I have to go on and learn from our "SHORT but REAL" relationship. I dont wanna hold grudges, I dont wanna be the girl who will be a bitch because someone broke up with her but instead I will be the woman who will be better because she learned something (the one who did good when we were together, yung nakasanayan ko nung kami pa..  sober, mahal ang sarili, ung babae na alam paano tumanggi dahil dapat tumanggi.)

Pero hindi ko pa din maiwasan na maalala siya. Sa mga oras na nakasanayan ko na kasama ko siya lalo na sa mga ras na kaming dalawa yung magkausap, kahit na nonsense nalang yung mga topic namin. The looooong talks (6 hrs??? or more???) the warm hugs, the sweet hugs, the sincere look in his eyes when we look at each other. Oh God! Im really a hpeless romantic girl kahit hindi halata. Minsan Gusto ko mag wish na sana kami pa din, pero babae din ako at malawak ang pang unawa ko, Hindi lang talaga panahon para sa amin. Sana pwede pa sa future. Pero SANA na lang yon.

Do I regret ever loving him? NOT AT ALL. He was like a big influence why I started to live in reality and not isolate myself in fantasy. I dont regret anything. It maybe SHORT but I know It was REAL. You ma say that Im absolutely wrong but Lemme tell you this There are only 3 people who knows what really happened to US. Him, Me and God. :)

My Superhero, I pray for your Happiness. Be happy. I'll miss you. Saranghae. <3

Hey BLOG! Here goes my #$(#*&$(#* feelings! :)

If every tear and smile can show how much a person feels, them maybe JUST maybe I can cry a thousand tears to show that Im in pain, I can smile like Im undeniably happy. Honestly, Ive been up since midnight. It's 11:25 am and yet I dont even want to sleep. Maybe because I dont want to wake up and feel lonely. My eyes are swollen, My heart is beating so fast. I cant even smile. Words doesnt want to come out of my mouth. I want to say Im okay, that Im good, Im cool, BUT I am not OKAY! I want to say I am happy, BUT I am not. I want to be selfish BUT thats not like me.

I hate myself for feeling the way I feel right now, I hate myself for being too nice. Why cant I get mad? Am I coward? Am I being to harsh? I want to make myself believe that everything happens for  reason and that God wants me to learn something.

Ive had the best 24 days of my life. Ive felt the best feeling Ive ever had. I dont want this to end, I dont want him out of my life. BUT I dont know what the future holds. I want him to be happy with whatever decision he makes. Be it with me or with someone else. Oh God! I dont even know why Im saying this. every time I say that Im ok, that Im gonna take it easy, Im gonna be okay If he makes his it the other way. BUT I have to make myself ready to face my fears and that is being dumped, rejected and left alone. Srsly, Ive waited  for 4 fucking years to find someone who's worth every tear I cried and worth the wait, and then I met him. Someone, who made me feel special and loved. He made me change my ways. He made me love myself more and If we go separate ways, I'll wait till the day God decides for our fate. Id like to think that We'll be there for each other when that time comes. Id still say YES. Id still welcome him back to my life. And If not, Ill wait for God's chosen one. Kinaya ko ngang maghintay ng apat na taon, siguro naman kakayanin ko pa.  Hindi naman siguro ako mahirap mahalin, hindi naman ako masamang babae, mabuti naman akong tao kaya Im positive pa din na bibigyan ako ni God ng someone na handang manindigan at makipaglaban para sakin.

My Superhero, Lets make the most out of every time God is giving us. Thank You and Im praying for your genuine Happiness. You know me and You know how much I value what we have. :))

HIM.

"In God's time, with God's chosen one"..

Okay. Im a hopeless romantic girl. Im mushy, cheesy. CORNY! Thats who I am and Having HIM in my life now is by far the BEST gift God blessed me with.. <3 I've always prayed for someone who will make me happy and the HE came.  I can say that He was worth the wait. He never fails to put a smile on my face. I want to spend every moment with him. I want to make him smile and make him feel loved. I will and I want to love him the way He's supposed to be loved. I can never tell what the future holds, But right now, at this moment all I want is HIM. :)

Nagsisimula palang kami, and Im hoping and and praying that we can be the best for each other. I love him because He loves me inspite of my faults and imperfections. I love him because he's TRUE and He doesn't lie to me, he actually tells me everything. I love  spending my sleepless nights just talking with him. Siya Yung taong nandyan para sakin, Who would've thought that we'll be this close. Kahit kami, di namin alam paano, Kahit may pagkabalew yon, Kahit lagi nya kong jinojoke time at tuwang tuwa sya sa pag naaasar nako, alam kong Crush nya pa din ako (HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA).. Some may laugh with  the idea, our set-up but then what I feel for him (I hope , I mean I know he feels the same ^__^) is real, short BUT real. Superhero ko yun, ililigtas nya ang kawawang butanding sa Manila Bay! Hutaena! Kapal his fez. Pero kinikilig ako. Charing :) Superhero ko yon kasi, Because of him I learned to get out of my safe side. I learned how to take risk and embrace chances and changes. I owe him a lot. Minsan tinatanong nya ko kung nabobore ba ako sa kanya, Srsly?? Hindi.. Kahit nga hangin nalang naririnig ko pag magkausap kami, balewala. Ang totoo ngaLSS nako sa mga soundtrip nya. Minsan natatakot ako, baka hindi ko magawa yung mga bagay na trip nya. :( Pero kakayanin ko. Package Deal yun eh. Love ko eh.. :)

Priceless!

This is WHY I love BLOGGING! Yung tipong hindi mo akalaing may mga ganito kang posts then a year after nangyari nga! <3 ..

Love moves.

Love moves in mysterious ways. 

It's always so surprising when love appears over the horizon. 

I'll love you for the rest of my days.

*Babe <3*

All I've got.

Im the girl you can hear from miles away, the kind of girl that if your sad her job is to make you happy, the girl who keeps on messing up & always say "SORRY". I trip over, Im such a klutz and I get mad at the simplest things but I am also the girl who holds everything back If You ask me whats wrong, I'll just lie and smile,  saying "OH NOTHING".. The Girl who stays up late because she want's to, the one who shows up early for school/work because she doesnt want to waste any moment of learning. I am a dreamer, a romantic person, sucker for little things. Im a procastinator and a sweetheart. I read, I write But I am still ignorant to a lot of things. The girl who dances around in the dark, thats me. I sing loud, and I sing with confidence (when Im not sure no one can hear me) Im a ditz. A nerd. This is me. It's all I've got.  Look at me, Im 23........

Highschool Friends "Friends for Keeps"

Rhyolite <3

It's complicated.

Alam mo yung may mga bagay kang gustong gawin pero alam mong hindi pwede kasi alam mong magulo. Gusto mong gawing tama pero alam mong mahirap.

Midnight Ramblings.

I want a man who would always hold my hand, kiss me on the forehead and even in my hands <3. I want someone who would sing for me at random moments. Someone who is romantic (Kahit may pagka siraulo sya.) A man who would throw stuffed animals at me when Im acting dumb. Someone who would bet me kisses that he could beat me at all the playstation games and then let me win. A man who would make fun of me just to hear me laugh. He'd play with my hair at all times & surprise me with simple stuffs. Someone who I could share lollipops with & lay on a blanket with to count the stars. <3 We'd take pictures of each other and squirt water guns in each other. :) But mostly Someone who would be my bestfriend & would never break my heart. He would just look at me and then smile.. :)

The People I Love.

Sana.

Sa Tamang Panahon, may isang taong magbibigay ng dahilan kung bakit para sa kanya at hindi ka para sa iba.

Who doesn't want to meet the person who will make them genuinely happy? Who doesn't want to be with the person who makes them feel complete? Who doesn't want to spend their life looking at the stars with the person who makes them feel secure? Who doesn't want to be inlove and be loved by "the one". Honestly, Im not brave enough to take risk and take chances, Im afraid I might get hurt but then again I remember what a friend told me before, "Walang Karapatang magmahal ang taong ayaw masaktan".. Im not rushing things coz  "Everything worth having for is worth waiting for." So I guess I have to patiently wait for that SOMEONE, "In God's time with God's chosen one".. and when I say that, I really mean that, Im not being too cheesy and mushy, I know people think that Im always on the safe side, but what can I do? This is me, This is the way I live my life. 

................

Senseless?

It could be true,

In the future

there's no me & you.

Snap of the fingers,

Blink of my eye

Out of the blue

You left, leaving me

without any clue.

*there you go. I started this poem a long time ago but I still havent finished it!  :'(